By Dr. Thomas Tavantzis, Licensed Psychologist

A Life-Altering Phrase

In the late 1960s, while living and studying in Athens, Greece, I had my first exposure to group psychotherapy training—not as a practitioner, but as a participant. At the time, I was barely 20 years old and profoundly unaware of just how lost I was when it came to understanding who I was or what I wanted to do with my life.

In those early sessions, I often felt disoriented. Yet amid the uncertainty, a moment of striking clarity emerged. During a discussion about life choices, our therapist—who would later become my first mentor—offered a simple yet powerful phrase that landed like a thunderclap: “Life is once around the block.”

That single sentence struck a deep chord within me. It spoke to the universal human question: As you make your way around the block of life, how will you spend your time? For more than fifty years, those words have lingered in my mind, quietly guiding how I reflect on my time on this earth. I don’t claim to live by them perfectly, but they remain a steady prompt—encouraging me to consider how I spend my days and where I choose to invest my energy.

The Journey of Self-Understanding

Think back to your Introduction to Psychology course, where you likely encountered Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. First introduced in 1943, Maslow’s model presents a five-tier pyramid of human motivation. It suggests that individuals must meet basic needs—such as food, safety, and belonging—before they can pursue higher-level aspirations like self-esteem and self-actualization.

As we move upward through these levels—from physiological needs to safety, love and belonging, esteem, and ultimately self-actualization—we are naturally prompted to ask deeper, more personal questions like: “What makes me unique?” and “How can I contribute meaningfully to the world?”

Whether we are aware of it or not, this journey often relies on the internal strengths we carry with us. Yet many of these strengths remain unrecognized or underappreciated—not because they don’t exist, but because we’ve never taken the time to truly name them. While others may offer observations or feedback about our abilities, their perceptions are shaped by their own experiences, assumptions, and roles in our lives. In this way, some of our most valuable internal resources can remain hidden in plain sight.

Insights from Neuropsychology

Relevant findings from neuropsychology—particularly the work of Joseph LeDoux, a professor of neuroscience at New York University—offer valuable insights into how we grow and develop. Neurologically speaking, we are most likely to grow in areas where we already demonstrate strength.

Although the brain continues to evolve throughout our lives, the nature of that growth is highly individualized. Shaped by genetic inheritance and the nuances of early childhood experiences, each person’s brain forms unique patterns of synaptic connections. Some regions become densely wired, while others remain less so—variations that differ significantly from one individual to another.

Research shows that people tend to generate new neurons and form synaptic connections in areas of the brain that are already well-developed. As LeDoux memorably explained, “Added connections are therefore more like new buds on a branch rather than new branches.” In essence, our existing strengths are also our greatest opportunities for continued growth and development.

Recognizing and Activating Your Strengths

Recognizing and articulating what makes you uniquely you becomes essential for personal and professional growth. At the heart of this process lies a powerful question: What are your internal resources? Answering this requires a thoughtful look at your hard-wired strengths—the innate abilities that shape how you think, solve problems, and interact with the world.

Gaining a deeper understanding of your unique contributions begins with intentional reflection. Ask yourself: What truly sets me apart? Go beyond surface-level skills and explore how your strengths manifest in real-life situations—whether in meetings, team collaborations, or creative endeavors. Are you the one who naturally brings order to chaos? Do people seek you out for insight, empathy, or innovative thinking?

Next, examine how you show up in group settings. How do you influence the dynamics of a team, a classroom, or a community? Perhaps you’re the strategist who sees the big picture, the connector who fosters relationships, the motivator who energizes others, or the quiet observer whose thoughtful input changes the direction of a discussion. Reflecting on these recurring roles can reveal how your strengths support shared goals. Ask yourself: Are these strengths visible to others—and to me?

Of course, self-awareness is only one part of the equation. Just as important is your ability to communicate your strengths clearly and confidently. It’s one thing to recognize your gifts; it’s another to express them in ways that help others understand, appreciate, and engage them. This is where intention meets action—when you begin to put your strengths into motion with purpose and clarity.

From Insight to Action: Putting Strengths to Work

To activate your strengths meaningfully, start with small but deliberate steps:

• • Self-Assessment: Reflect on your high points. Look back on times when you’ve excelled in professional or personal settings—what strengths were you using in those moments?
  • Feedback: Invite outside perspective. Seek input from trusted colleagues or mentors about your contributions in team or group dynamics.
  • Role Alignment: Make sure your strengths are aligned with your current role and responsibilities—an idea underscored by renowned management consultant Peter Drucker in The Effective Executive. Reflect on whether your position enables you to thrive, or if your talents are being overlooked or underutilized.

Articulating Your Strengths with Confidence

Effectively sharing your strengths with others starts with clarity:

• • Be specific and relevant. Move beyond vague phrases like “I’m a people person” or “I’m a hard worker,” instead share a short example—perhaps how you led a project under tight deadlines or helped mediate a tough team dynamic. Stories resonate more than titles.
  • Tailor to the context: Highlight the competencies—your unique blend of strengths and skills—that are most relevant to the specific role, team, or situation to ensure your contributions are both meaningful and impactful.
  • Use strengths-based language. Communicate your abilities using positive, empowering language. Illustrate how your strengths have helped you overcome challenges or achieve success in specific situations.

Deepening Self-Awareness Through Assessments

Objective tools can offer profound clarity when it comes to identifying and naming your strengths. I’ve found the Highlands Ability Battery (HAB) to be an essential foundation in my work with individuals and teams. It provides a scientifically grounded way to measure your natural abilities—your cognitive “wiring.”

To complement the HAB, tools like StandOut by Marcus Buckingham offer helpful, workday-oriented language to describe how you show up in the world, while the Big Five personality framework gives additional insight into your behavioral tendencies. Where HAB works from the inside out—starting with innate wiring—StandOut works from the outside in, helping you see how others experience your strengths.

Pair these tools with reflection and real-world feedback, and you create a multidimensional picture of who you are and how you thrive.

Let Your Strengths Tell a Story

Once you understand your strengths, bring them to life through storytelling. Prepare a few short “strengths stories” you can draw on in conversation—these make you memorable, relatable, and persuasive. They also help you internalize your own value and communicate it with authenticity.

Over time, practice builds confidence. You’ll find it easier to speak about yourself with clarity and conviction—making eye contact, using intentional language, and showing up as your full self.

Understanding your strengths—and learning to speak confidently about them—is not just about professional development. It’s about embracing who you are, how you’re wired, and the unique contributions you’re here to make as you take your once around the block.

Final Thoughts

“Once around the block” is more than a metaphor—it’s a call to action. No two people walk the same block, and yours is a one-time journey. Along the way, you’ve made choices that shape your path, and your potential to contribute is deeply tied to knowing who you are and what you bring to the table.

Too much to consider? Perhaps. But there’s a lot at stake—for your fulfillment, for your success, and for the value you bring to others.

After all, it’s your once around the block.

Dr. Tom Tavantzis
Licensed Psychologist
Founder and President, Innovative Management Development (IMD), P.C.
Senior Adjunct Professor, Organizational Development Leadership (ODL), Haub School of Management
www.IMDLeadership.com

About the Author:
Dr. Thomas Tavantzis is a seasoned psychologist, leadership coach, and Highlands Certified Consultant with over 40 years of experience in the field of career development, executive coaching, and organizational psychology. With a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and extensive experience in both academia and private consulting, he brings deep expertise in helping individuals and teams uncover and articulate their natural abilities. His work is rooted in the belief that personal insight and clarity around one’s innate strengths are the foundation for meaningful contribution and career satisfaction.

Dr. Tavantzis remains deeply committed to helping individuals gain self-awareness, build on their strengths, and achieve meaningful personal and professional growth.

Contact Dr. Tavantzis for more information- Thomas.tavantzis@gmail.com | 610-420-0900